"If you could love me as a wife, and for my wedding gift, your life--should that be all I'd ever need? Or is there more I'm looking for?" ~Derek Webb (from the song Wedding Dress)


Something about the thought of absolutely unconditional love makes my heart soar. I love to read the stories of the broken throughout scripture, and to see God come down and wade in the mud with His people--I love to see Him wade in the mud with me. Because the truth is, as much as my heart belongs to Jesus and I want a vibrant Christ-filled life...often I find myself wading through the sewers of life and I think, "Well, this is it, God is definately not going to come for me down here. I have gone too far and become too soiled. I'm covered in the excrements of myself and those around me. I have to find my own way out of this one." And then, in the middle of my thoughts, Jesus steps up, wipes a bit of mud off my face, and takes my dirty hand saying, "Come with me." And He doesn't say it with an air of superiority or an exhasperated "of course, she's done it again" look. It is love that pours forth from His eyes and it is love that compels Him to intentionally step into the dung that we have named our own. What love is this?

I look at the stories throughout scripture that reflect this love of God and I am in awe. Consider Rahab--a prostitute in a town who detests God and His people. This woman has made some serious wealth off of selling her body and using her body for power. At first glance this is not the kind of woman you want your son to bring home...but God reveals Himself to her through two spies who come to her brothel to hide from the police, she ends up expressing faith in God and becoming the great-great (add a few more greats in there for good measure) grandmother to Jesus! Woah! (That can be found in Joshua 2-6 by the way).

As if that isn't enough of a picture of God's endless love, the book of Hosea will just about knock your socks off! God tells this man Hosea to go and marry this lady named Gomer...an adulterous woman. Right up front God is clear on the type of woman He wants for Hosea, not a sweet church-going, even-tempered woman...an unfaithful, fickle wanderer! (I might be questioning whether I had heard the voice of God accurately at that point.) Hosea goes, though, out of obedience to God, and marries Gomer. She ends up having three children and it seems a bit unclear whether these are Hosea's children or whether they are another man's children. Regardless, after these three kiddos are born she takes off, sleeps her way around, and ends up somehow basically owned by another man. At this point if I was Hosea I think I would be saying my farewells to Gomer. But he doesn't. He goes out, finds her, and pays the guy she's hooking up with so that she can go back with Hosea. Talk about a daytime soap opera! God uses this whole relationship between Hosea and Gomer to basically say to His people, "This is what you are doing to me...you are unfaithful wanderers who have sold yourself to another...and yet I am coming for you and I will buy you out of the hands you have sold yourselves into."

Can I just take a minute to pause and let that sink in. My God, who has offered everything to me, who has even given His life for me...my Jesus will come looking for me when I become disinterested in Him and run off into the arms of whatever waits around the corner. I spit in my God's face and prostitute myself to pride, self-righteousness, busyness, lust, my own agenda, worry, hatred toward another, even thinking I can do it on my own...and God is right there in the muck with me, and He is not mad and disgusted. He is gently saying, "Please come back my love, this is no place for you--there is no love for you here from these things. Find your rest and your home in my love, come to me."

What love is this? This is the love of my Jesus, and no matter how many times I wander--my heart and my very being belong to Him. He is the washer of my dirtiness, the healer of my self-inflicted wounds, and the binder of my broken bones (usually caused from tripping over hazards that I have put in my very path). Thank you God, for being the lover of my slowly-being-healed-by-you soul. This fickle heart of mine belongs to you.

Wedding Dress Lyrics (from the albumn She Must and Shall Go Free by Derek Webb)
If you could love me as a wife, and for my wedding gift, your life--should that be all I'd ever need? Or is there more I'm looking for? And should I read between the lines, and look for blessings in disguise--to make me handsome, rich, and wise--is that really what you want? I am a whore I do confess, I put you on just like a wedding dress and I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle. I'm a prodigal with no way home, but I put you on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle to you. So could you love this bastard child? Though I don't trust you to provide. With one hand in a pot of gold, and the other in your side. I am so easily satisified by the call of lovers so less wild, that I would take a little cash over your very flesh and blood. Money cannot buy a husband's jealous eye when you have knowingly deceived his wife. I  am a whore I do confess, I put you on just like a wedding dress and I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle. I'm a prodigal with no way home, but I put you on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle to you.