Trusting in the Fog

"He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear. Yet God is already there. All the tomorows of our life have to pass through Him before they can get to us." ~F.B. Meyer

Jesus, sometimes it is hard for me to trust that you are in my today...let alone my tomorrow. I know in my head that you are here...but if I am going to be honest, sometimes my heart, well, it doubts. Thank you for the reminder that you not only plan my paths but you also stand at the finish line and cheer me on. Someday, on a day ordained by you God,  I will run that last stretch, through the finish line of grace and into your outstretched arms. Until that day, may you help me God, to live each day for you, and with you. Thank you. ~

Why are we so afraid of pain, of discomfort, of having things not work out according to our plan? It is such a human thing, fear, and yet how much lighter might we feel if we actually did take the burden off of our shoulders and lay it at the foot of the cross? A butterfly has to go through much pain, groaning, and travail if it is to become the georgeous creation it was intended to be. We too must accept the pain, suffering, and anguish, if we are to become the sure-footed, confidant in our God, graceful, hopeful, and at peace beings that we were created to be. Romans 8:18 says that our light and momentary sufferings--though they seem to be great--are nothing at all compared to the glory God wants to reveal in us. Yet so many churches, books, and sermons skirt around the issue of pain and suffering because it makes us uncomfortable. I too, so often sidestep discussions of pain because, I confess, there is a part of me that fears that it "won't make God look good". As if He is not a big enough God to take care of Himself? Am I so great that I should step in and be His liason? He has called me to be His ambassador, yes, and yet the expectation would be that I speak truth--not that I butter the truth up and cover it in sugar. His way is always best.

There is a story, told by Homera Homer-Dixon, which can be found in the devotional Streams in the Desert: A child of God was once overwhelmed by a number of afflictions tormenting her. As she walked past a vineyard during the rich glow of autumn she noticed its untrimmed appearance and the abundant number of leaves still on the vine. The entire scene appeared unkept. While she pondered the sight, the heavenly gardener whispered this, "My dear child, are you questioning the number of trials in your life? Rememer the vineyard and learn from it. The gardener stops pruning and trimming the vine only when he expects nothing more from the vine during that season. He leaves it alone because its fruitfulnes is gone and further effort now would yield no profit. Do you now want me to stop pruning your life? Shall I leave you alone? Then her comforted heart cried, "No!"

It is so often in the midst of the fog and the rain, when trees are crashing around me and I am soaked to the bone that I am finally able to cry from the depth of my being, "God, I need you!" And He answers. It is not always through a ceasing of rain, as I might have hoped, but He shows that He is there and that He will be there through whatever storms life might bring. Admittedly, there are times that I find myself in the midst of a storm and all I can do is scream at Him, "I don't want this! Not this...anything but this!" Like an angry child, my wounded heart wants to cry, "I hate you! Leave me alone! You don't understand!" And yet He is the parent who's love never fails--He understands our pain and even allows for it to be directed at Him. We can be real with him.

I don't know what the future holds...Job wasn't expecting his whole world to be turned upside down in the blink of an eye, but it was. What I do know, and the only thing I can cling to, is that God is real, God is near, and God's love never fails. May I remember that when the storms come, the skies grow dark, and I lose sight of everything I know to be true. God is God, and I belong to Him.