He Never Lets Go

Wow, some weeks are so loopy I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry...I think my husband must think I am insane! Thankfully, he has chosen to love me through better...or worse. And some weeks...the weeks I think we might need to buy flood insurance due to my overabundance of tear-duct action...I am really glad we threw in that "for worse" part. I am so thankful for my husband's unconditional love and support...yet even more so I am stunned and amazed at my God's unconditional love and support. In the darkest of hours when I wonder if I will ever again see the light of the sun or feel the warmth of its rays, He is not far off. My prayer this morning was, "God, please bring spring soon!" and my heart ached not just for the physical and tangible signs of spring but for a spring of the soul. I was aching for the dark days of winter to come to an end, longing for new blossoms to spring up in my heart and for my soul to gush forth with springs of fresh water, thawed from its winter hibernation. Oh the picture of it stirs me to the very core! I have a longing and an anticipation so strong for God to bring life to my half-frozen spirit! And I know He will! But...I have to pause for a minute and accept the season I am in right now as one I can learn and grow from as well. I was watching "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" earlier today and was reminded of the line from C.S. Lewis's acclaimed novel that in Narnia there was a season where it was "Always winter and never Christmas". Hmm...I can resonate with that feeling. For me it hasn't lasted forever, but there are seasons when it feels like the winters of my soul are long and dark and never-ending and all I want is to see the buds of spring. That is where my heart is at this very moment, and yet I feel in my chest that God is saying, "Don't rush into spring so fast that you disregard the gifts I have left you in winter. There will be a time for spring, do not fear, but I am with you in winter's dark days to hold and protect and guide you...let me." Thank you Jesus. Thank you that you are with me through all seasons and all storms. Thank you for reminders of your love and grace along the way. Thank you that you give me a remnant of hope when I need it most and hold my hand when I want to give up. Thank you for cheerleaders on this earth, and thank you that when the cheers are muffled by the noise of the chaos around me you never let go.

Fresh Artistry

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

~Isaiah 43:19

There is something about the new year that gives me butterflies! Am I alone in this? It's like there is this fresh new canvas and newly bought paints and at this moment anything is possible. It amazes me that in reality, our God says that each day is a new canvas that has been washed clean by His blood. Each day we can submit ourselves to be washed clean by the One who knows how we got each bruise and gash and scar. I am humbled and amazed that the King of Kings would deign to get on his hands and knees and wash the dirt that has been caked on our lives. What's more, he doesn't just wash the dirt that others have thrown at us or bind only the wounds that have been caused by those around us, he just as willingly and just as gently washes each gash that is there because of our own doing. Maybe it was caused by bad judgment, maybe we intentionally walked down a path we knew would have thorns but chose to go anyway...whatever the reason for our wounds, our God looks into our souls with those gentle eyes and scrubs us clean, binds us up, and makes us whole. How could we not want to give Him our whole lives?

This January I have been thinking about what I want the new year to look like. For starters, I love this Isaiah 43 verse...in fact all of Isaiah 43 stirs up something in my heart that says, "Yes! Bring it on!" There is something so powerful and empowering about these truths that God speaks, "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing...I am making a way in the wilderness." God wants us to accept His gift of a fresh canvas and new paints. He wants us to join him in the epic adventure of seeking him and living life with him. It is not forced on us, we could go our own way and continue to wander around in the desert. We could seek fulfilment in whatever we think might bring life...but we will not find it. We could stay locked in our closets of bitterness and anger, refusing to believe that anything good could be made of our circumstances. And if we do, we will continue to believe that and continue to wither. Or, we could step into trust and believe that there is newness and there is life and there is purpose beyond what we can see. That is my choice this new year. And by choosing that, by choosing Jesus, I have shed the weight of all the extra baggage that built up over the last year. Let God find a home for all that...maybe there is a dumpsite on the outskirts of heaven that he deposits the junk we are ready to let go. So go ahead God, take it all away so that I have the energy to laugh and love and live for you. I am ready for you to start a colorful creation on the fresh canvas of my life. Just make sure when you have completed it God, to sign it with your name.