He Never Lets Go

Wow, some weeks are so loopy I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry...I think my husband must think I am insane! Thankfully, he has chosen to love me through better...or worse. And some weeks...the weeks I think we might need to buy flood insurance due to my overabundance of tear-duct action...I am really glad we threw in that "for worse" part. I am so thankful for my husband's unconditional love and support...yet even more so I am stunned and amazed at my God's unconditional love and support. In the darkest of hours when I wonder if I will ever again see the light of the sun or feel the warmth of its rays, He is not far off. My prayer this morning was, "God, please bring spring soon!" and my heart ached not just for the physical and tangible signs of spring but for a spring of the soul. I was aching for the dark days of winter to come to an end, longing for new blossoms to spring up in my heart and for my soul to gush forth with springs of fresh water, thawed from its winter hibernation. Oh the picture of it stirs me to the very core! I have a longing and an anticipation so strong for God to bring life to my half-frozen spirit! And I know He will! But...I have to pause for a minute and accept the season I am in right now as one I can learn and grow from as well. I was watching "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" earlier today and was reminded of the line from C.S. Lewis's acclaimed novel that in Narnia there was a season where it was "Always winter and never Christmas". Hmm...I can resonate with that feeling. For me it hasn't lasted forever, but there are seasons when it feels like the winters of my soul are long and dark and never-ending and all I want is to see the buds of spring. That is where my heart is at this very moment, and yet I feel in my chest that God is saying, "Don't rush into spring so fast that you disregard the gifts I have left you in winter. There will be a time for spring, do not fear, but I am with you in winter's dark days to hold and protect and guide you...let me." Thank you Jesus. Thank you that you are with me through all seasons and all storms. Thank you for reminders of your love and grace along the way. Thank you that you give me a remnant of hope when I need it most and hold my hand when I want to give up. Thank you for cheerleaders on this earth, and thank you that when the cheers are muffled by the noise of the chaos around me you never let go.