Roller Coasters of Life

Okay, so sometimes I think our God has a warped sense of humor. Here I am, four months pregnant (read: emotionally insane), currently without a place to call home, and on an adventure with my amazing husband to find a job since he happened to find out that he was laid off from work the same week we found out we were going to have a baby. Oh goodness, have the last few months been a ROLLER COASTER! (Did I mention that I HATE roller coasters?) They make me feel like I am going to throw up and have a heart attack at the same time...and that was before I was pregnant!

So over the past few months I have been mad at God, sad at God, joyful that he is the one in charge, and confused at what the heck he is doing. On good days I have felt peace in his sovereignty and a deep sense that he is my provider and will provide the things that are most important--even if they don't match up with my list of what's important. The thing is, as I am learning to be real with God about what I am feeling, I sense his pleasure in my honesty. I felt blocked in my relationship with God for a while, and once I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself long enough to let God know that I felt hurt and alone, he reminded me that he was right there with me through each up and down.

Thank you God that you NEVER let go. Holding onto this truth has helped me weather so many storms! I am growing and learning so much through this time of uncertainty. And each day God provides someone or something to remind me that this is a really cool time...I can't lean on my own understanding or depend on myself. I have to trust God and depend on Him to meet my needs. I might sound semi-delusional but honestly, there is something really neat about that!

So today must be one of those good days because I can say with integrity and truth, here's to the adventure! Keep them coming God, because I am finding that when you have me in uncomfortable situations I see your open arms more clearly. And there is nothing to do but jump into them.